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Monday, 14 September 2009

  • WHY WONT SHE JUST DISAPPEAR!!!!!!

    So my boyfriends ex just wont fucking give up. its been about a year since they broke up and once a month like clock work she pops up with a facebook or IM and ALWAYS throws subtle hints about how she misses him or really wants a boyfriend. oh and how do i feel about this you ask?

    I WANT HER TO FALL IN TO A DEEP DITCH!!!!!! and being that shes only 4'9 hopefully she wont be able to get out. i mean i dont care about my boyfriend talking to girl but i hate when the girls talking to my boyfriend want him. and yes i am a bit protective but every boy i have truely loved (a word i dont use too often) has left me for another girl and has cheated on me with said girl. so you can understand my paranoia. now i have expressed my dislike for her to him using many ummm...colorful words. but how do i just say dont answer these attempts of contact?  my boyfriends a really good person whos honest with everyone he knows. i just wnat him to tell her to FUCK OFF!!! but i know that wont happen. so when times like this arise i just get on my knees and pray to the hogwarts gods for magical powers and then BAM ive got my unicorn hair phoenix feather wand and that bitch is gunna be blasted to the next universe. GOD I HATE STUBBORN EX GIRLFRIENDS!

Thursday, 27 August 2009

  • beauty and the beast part 2: the transformation isnt really that magical

    When I finally decided to return the house on the hill I found the beast on the ground reverted to his human state, violent cover shed. I have realized many times over that this beast will always be my boy. And that this is the duty charged to me: to have and to hold. To love and nurture. To heal and sustain breath. To raise above and lead forward out of darkness.  And finally to fix.  I must learn to fix a broken boy and tame the beast. I slide down the wall to meet him on the floor. I bow my head, take his hand and feel the first warmth from him in weeks, a small lingering squeeze. Now I have the strength to continue. I gather my courage breathe out the stress and prepare myself for the next blow…..who knew it would come so soon.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

  • Currently
    Plans
    By Death Cab for Cutie
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    so this is what really happened what beauty met the beast.

    There was a cold fire in its eyes that night.  I have known it for long enough to know it has changed and that the same fire in its eyes consumed it that night. This being that stood in front of me talked with a surreal growl lurking beneath his voice. This being has changed from a calm, saddened, yet loving creature to a rage filled, stained, primitive monster. The same warm gray eyes now completely charred spoke of the action before it happened. The blow hurt my confidence and trust more than the two sore points on left on my chest. As I sped down the dark road away from the beast I remember the boy he once was.

    A boy that was put through torture that might as well have been chains and whips.

    A boy that blocked out everyone and relied on liquid fire and miniature mind altering matter.

     A boy that was my boy

    Is this new born beast still my boy?

     

    second part coming soon....

    rec if you like it.

Tuesday, 04 August 2009

  • Currently
    Foiled for the Last Time
    By Blue October
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    I Have Abandonment Issues.

    I have abandonment issues. When you leave without warning I can’t keep down food. I feel empty. I feel the walls closing in a around me. But it’s not only you it’s because he, she, it could leave at any moment and I wouldn’t function. I need ample warning or to be able to talk to you as you drift away on your epic adventure.

    I cradle your needs and malfunctions and take care of you in the best way I can. And you do the same for me in all but one of my issues, the largest one. The unexpected alarming text of goodbye for a week or I just need to disappear. Poof. You have to understand that I just need you here…close to me and to give me to lots of time to prepare for you to leave.

    I know you will be back soon but I have abandonment issues. I have no way of trusting your promise of “I’ll be with you by Monday” many have promised the same and disappeared forever as they walked out of door. What if you do that same and abandon me with all of my issues?

Monday, 03 August 2009